I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
