# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He? As in you personified your dick?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
