So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
