you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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