What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm getting married
To pizza
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
