Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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