so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
