oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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