Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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