At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
