Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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