We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
