my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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