I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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