He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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