It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
