Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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