Me too!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
