you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
