hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
