She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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