Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
