I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
