hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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