just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Randomize
