if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
