The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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