Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
