thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
