That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
