McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
