He uses pillows to masturbate.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
