She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
