Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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