Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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