eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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