oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
