Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
