I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
