Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
