singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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