He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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