I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
