Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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