well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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