im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
