3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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