you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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