I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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