Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
