he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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